


A Short Exercise In Practical Jokes

by bloodscout



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-07
Updated: 2012-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 05:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodscout/pseuds/bloodscout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is about to tell Dean about him and Gabriel and he is nervous beyond belief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Short Exercise In Practical Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> This is a retroactive April Fool’s fic. How it begins is how it shall end and all that, right?  
> To fill the prompt ‘Sam and Gabriel tell Dean about their relationship’.

‘You do know that I’m impervious to shotgun bullets, right?’ Gabriel asks from his position at the foot of the bed. ‘Now, don’t tear your hair out. I need something to hold onto.’ He says and winks suggestively.

Sam pulls on his socks with a little more force than necessary. ‘Yeah, well, _I’m_ not impervious to bullets, am I?’ he bites back peevishly.

‘No, Sammy, you aren’t, but given this messed up, psychotic-’

‘Irrational, erotic codependence. Yes, I know, Zachariah beat you to it.’ Sam finishes. ‘What has that got to do with anything?’

Gabriel laughs in disbelief. ‘Erotic? Zachariah, you kinky bastard!’

Sam glares at his angel-boyfriend. ‘I’m glad I’m so amusing to you, but can we get back to the bit where my brother is going to kill me?’ Sam grumbles, resisting the urge to throw his shoe at the wall. If he did, then his brother would think he was being attacked and run into the room, ruining the point of all the bitching he is currently directing at Gabriel.

 

‘My point is,’ Gabriel says, somehow maintaining his patience with the pissy, overtired moose he has shared a room with for the past few nights. ‘Dean won’t hurt you, ever. He can’t hurt you, alright? And yeah, he’s going to freak out a little, but he’s going to be okay because he loves you.’

Sam is still staring at the carpet, but he chuckles a little and tells Gabriel ‘You sound just like Jess.’

Gabriel smiles softly, comfortingly. Sam was still hurt over losing her – Gabriel doesn’t think that anyone could ever get over having someone taken from you that brutally, not really – but Gabriel likes to think that he helps ease the pain. Sam loves him, really loves him, with every breath he takes, and Gabriel knows that that’s enough.

‘He’ll be okay with it.’ Gabriel assures.

Sam leaned down and presses a chaste kiss to Gabriel’s lips. ‘Thank you.’ He whispers, before unlocking the door and walking over to Dean’s room.

Sam knocks, which he wouldn’t usually do, but he’s nervous and needs the time between Dean’s ‘Gimme a second’ and the click of the door being opened to compose himself.

Dean opened the door with his favourite pistol cradled in his hand and a machete swinging from one of his belt loops. Gabriel wanted to make a joke about running with knives, but Sam just swallows nervously and walks in.

‘Hey there, Sammy. Gabe.’ Dean greets them and walks back inside. ‘What’s up? You’re really pale, Sammy.’ Dean asks, a little concern bleeding into his voice.

‘You look as if you have seen a ghost.’ Castiel adds from the seat where he is tying his laces. He is grinning when he looks over at Dean, as if to say  _Look, I made a joke, aren’t you proud? You can kiss me now._

Sam coughs awkwardly and Gabriel instinctively reaches out to rub his back in comfort, but thinks twice and pulls his hand back to his side.

‘I’ve got something to tell you, Dean.’ Sam announces. Gabriel notes that he sounds more confident than their bond suggests.

‘Sure, just let me load the guns, then you’ve got my full attention.’

Gabriel feels a spike of alarm from Sam and shuffles a little closer, but only slightly.

‘Um… This might not be the best time.’

Dean shakes his head. ‘Nah, Sam. Take a seat. Cas, get over here, give Sam the seat.’ 

Dean slips the knife out of his belt loop and pats the a spot next to him on the bed. Castiel moves to sit beside Dean on the bed and stares intently at Sam as he sits in the recently vacated armchair. Dean rests the gun on his knee, but it is still pointed straight at Sam.

‘Well… Um… Gabriel and I… We’re together.’ Sam says and promptly shuts his eyes like you would before someone punches you, preparing himself for Dean’s onslaught.

It doesn’t come.

He opens his eyes, and Dean’s face is red, his eyes stormy.

‘What?’ he growls.

‘We’re…’ Sam looks to Gabriel, eyes wide with fear.

‘You mean you’ve been banging this… this abomination and you didn’t  _tell me_?’

Sam bit his lip, then continued. ‘It’s…’ Gabriel’s encouraging look helps Sam to continue. ‘Dean, it’s more than that. We’re bonded. Proper bonded. That needs mutual feelings from both sides, and the purest of intentions. This… thing that Gabe and I have, it’s real.’

Dean’s face didn’t change. ‘He’s  _not_ ** _human_**.’ Dean snarls.

‘You didn’t seem to have a problem with hunting with him!’ Sam argues, slamming his forearms on the bench. ‘Can’t you see, Dean? I love him. You… you have to accept it, you gotta live with it, because it’s not going to change.’

Dean’s whole face changed, stony expression melting away in a split second. He breaks into a grin, then collapses into a fit of laughter. Castiel is grinning proudly too and Gabriel is wearing the scheming smile Sam is all too familiar with.

‘Guys? Guys, what’s going on?’ Sam asks, sensing foul play.

‘April Fools!’ Dean cries between gasps for breath.

‘It was my idea.’ Announces Castiel proudly.

Gabriel snorts. ‘No, you just said “We should play an April Fools joke on Sam. It should prove to be humorous”. Dean and I came up with the plan.’

Sam gave everyone in the room equally bone chilling glares, then something occurred to him. ‘Wait, so, you told him?’

Dean shook his head. ‘Hell no. I already knew, I just gave him the “If you hurt him” speech like a good big brother.’

Sam frowned in confusion. ‘How-?’

‘Contrary to popular opinion, you’re not very stealthy, Sammy. What use have you got for a double bed room? I may not be paying Sven Gräslund’s bills, but I like to check up on his credit history.’ Dean says, still giggling a little.

‘And I could see the bond.’ Castiel said proudly.

Dean nodded. ‘Yeah, apparently it’s like a big neon sign that says “Gabriel hit this!” Real subtle, Sammy.’ Dean slips the gun back into his duffle, along with the knife lying on the bed.

Sam frowns. ‘So… you’re okay with it?’

Dean raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you kidding? Whatever you stops you from being a whiny bitch in the morning is fine with me. Plus, what kind of hypocrite would I be?’ Dean pulls Castiel in by the waist, tucking him into his side.

‘What?’ Sam exclaims in confusion.

Dean squints quizzically at Gabriel. ‘You mean you didn’t tell him?’

‘About you big neon sign that says “This is Castiel’s, do not touch?” Must have slipped my mind.’ Gabriel says innocently.

Sam blinks in confusion. ‘So you’re…?’ he asks once more, motioning between the two of them.

‘Yep.’ Dean confirms, a proud smile taking control of his features.

‘Huh.’ Sam says intelligently, too busy coming up with an intricate plan to get them back before midday.


End file.
